When it comes to divorce, one of the most challenging elements is telling your children your plans. A split between two parents can be devastating for kids, so you need to soften the blow as much as possible without being unclear about what happens next.
According to Psychology Today, your children may always remember this conversation, so you need to plan it well.
Be the first to talk to your children
You do not want your children to hear about the divorce from another person. Plan to tell your children as quickly as possible. Before you talk to them, discuss how you can address it with your soon-to-be former spouse. If possible, plan to have the conversation together. Children have an easier time accepting a divorce when they hear it from both parents. Likewise, when you have a family meeting, it shows the kids that you and the other parent still care and work together for their best interests.
Shape the narrative for your children
Children do not need to know who you think has a fault in the marriage dissolving. This is an adult issue that can only harm their perception of both of you. When parents blame each other, children feel stuck in the middle. They relate to both parents and can begin to internalize your feelings about the other parent. Instead, try to talk as a couple and use “we” more often. While you want to keep the discussion age-appropriate, you can explain why the divorce happened.
Children need stability after hearing tough news. Make sure your children understand what has to change and what will stay the same.
